Bipolar Disorder's Sick Cycle Carousel

“So when will this end it goes on and on 
Over and over and over again 
Keep spinning around I know that it won't stop”  ~Lifehouse, Sick Cycle Carousel

Perhaps this is a wrong line of thinking, but I am learning that compared to other moods I have experienced, I actually like hypomania.  I feel like over the past few weeks I felt every emotion under the sun.  Mania. Hypomania. Mixed state. Depression.  By far my favorite has been hypomania.

It is uncanny how subtle changes in my attitude are noticed by others who know me both well and casually.  My mother had been saying for a week that she was noticing a change in me when I went from being hypomanic to slightly depressed before I even detected it.  This past Thursday when I went to my Bipolar support group meeting, the meeting’s moderator even quietly mentioned to me that she saw a change in my mood.  Now I am seeing that with the lower dose of Geodon I am moving out of the depressed state into becoming more like myself.  My goal is to figure out who I truly am and find a dose of medication that can keep me there best.

..........Continued.........